Another year, another moment to celebrate making it to the halfway mark of 2020. And yet, there was nothing that could have prepared me for what exactly this year was going to look like.
The whole of 2020 has felt rather upside down really – we started the year with rumours of World War 3, Australia was battling the worst of wildfires and then a global pandemic hit that has forever changed the way in which we will live in this world. And while I sit and write this post by myself in my room, I can’t help but think that this June feels… different.
Not just because there are at least a dozen things going on locally, and globally, that have certainly impacted my holistic wellbeing. But also because, this June, I’m turning 25 – and while I had ideas and plans of where I wanted to be and what my life was going to look like at this particular point, most of them have not come to pass.
If life had gone the way I wanted it to, I would have been close to graduating from Medical School, or at least looking forward to finishing my Masters degree. I would have been engaged to an idea of a person that fits ‘my type’. I would have been living in my own apartment, magically affording to pay for rent. I would have a car, small enough to fit the streets of Cape Town but big enough to fit my long legs. I would have, I would have, I would have…
But none of those things have really happened. And while I sit back and reflect on the missed plans I’ve made, I naturally can’t help but be glad about all the good things that have come along my way in the last 24 years…
I have two degrees under my belt. I’ve turned my simple love for photography into a real skill that makes me money. I’ve created this blog that fuels my creative spark. I’m self-sufficient. And I have an abundance of love residing in me that no other person can give me.
Life has all these ebbs and flows, highs and lows. But it always keeps moving. And even though this month feels different, I know that it will still keep moving, and I need to decide if I will keep moving with it or if I will let it pass me by.
I will admit, I’m pretty scared to turn the big 25. I mean, isn’t this the time I’ll be experiencing a quarter-life crisis? Oh gosh, I’m NOT looking forward to THAT! But I am looking forward to spending my special day differently. Will I be indoors, at home, like I have been for the past couple of months? Yes. And will I be throwing myself a little solo birthday party? Probably. But in all of it, I think I look forward to just acknowledging how far I’ve come in these 25 years, and how much I have accomplished, and how much more I would like to achieve.
So, all that to say that yes – this June feels… different. In a nerve wrecking and exciting way. I can’t wait to celebrate my birthday a little differently, and to ultimately take a moment to reflect back on my 25 trips around the sun to smile at the lovely little lady I am becoming.
Love and Light,
Khalipha Ntloko 