Honestly, WTF is my love life!? 😂
Okay, let me back track a bit here…
I am a hopeless, yet hopeful, romantic. I highkey love Love, but given my previous dating track record, I’d say I’ve had my fill of a Love that is painful and can’t choose me. And quite frankly, I’m not keen to experience this version of Love again.
About 4 years ago, I tried my hand at online dating. 6 months prior, my first real relationship had ended and man, did I want to be Sandy from Grease and have my own summer-loving fling. Major LOL because my summer in December 2017 was primarily working a part time job and me having no idea how and where I would meet my Danny Zuko.
Enter Tinder, the actual last place I’d probably find Love (because I think we all know the track record Tinder has). It was such a weird sensation, swiping left for people you don’t like and right for the ones that you do. I definitely want to research the psychology behind this ‘Swipe Right’ culture because it really did feel ‘nice’ to match with people. It’s an odd feeling to see who you like online and who likes you back. Seeing what my ‘type’ was and who I was matching with was a refreshing change from what I thought I liked.
Did I find Love on Tinder? No, and it probably was because I didn’t pay for the Premium version. But also, I realised how strange online dating feels. See, I prefer in-person dating (which is nuts to me because I am such an introvert and a homebody). Blame it on all the romance movies I’ve watched where I meet Mr. Right in a coffee shop, and we take it from there, but there is something fleeting about online dating – a momentary pleasure – that doesn’t satisfy me because I know I want something more…
I don’t regret my fleeting time on Tinder; I needed that experience to realise that I can’t do online dating…
Which is so funny to me because I just gave OK Cupid and Bumble a try this year, and I 100% gave them both a try as a means of trying to open myself to finding Love in the most unexpected way. After admitting how lonely I am, and having a coaching session that suggested I push myself out of my own comfort love zone. Another major LOL because dating apps are so far from my comfort zone. But then again, I haven’t dated in a minute so everything feels far from my comfort zone.
As I type this, I have OK Cupid and Bumble on my phone, and as much as I have virtually met some interesting people from South Africa and beyond, but here’s what I know:
- It’s okay to admit that online dating is weird and not for you (it’s not for me and I truly know it now)
- Stepping out of your comfort zone always yields a lesson that you will learn about yourself; don’t be afraid to take that step.
- Be genuinely open to Love, and finding it in random and weird places
It’s likely that as varied and tiny my experience with dating apps is, I’ll be deleting them by the end of this week because my online attention span for online dating is sitting at a solid 0.1%. And that’s okay. Perhaps I’ll find Love in a bar, a church, or even on the side of the road. Who knows, but I am glad that I gave this new way of connecting people a try.
Should you try it? Why not? Go chat to a Jason from the USA or a Dylan in Australia. Expand your digital circle, talk to someone on the other side of the world, and hey – fall in love if you’re lucky enough. Either way, I tried 3 dating apps and I’m still single, but it’s nice to know that I have fewer frogs to kiss before I find Mr. Right. 😅😅
Love and Light,
Khalipha Ntloko 