Can you believe it? We’re in the second last month of 2021 and while this year has been both fast and slow, I’m in awe of how time has flown by. Now, it’s that time of the year where I start to reflect back on some key moments from 2021 and man, what a year!
Love Found Me
Maybe it wasn’t so much about love finding me, but rather opening myself to the possibility of love just one more time. I have had my fair share of heartbreak and pain, and quite frankly, I was ready to just accept that perhaps I am meant to be alone in this world.
This doesn’t quite match my heart’s desires – I want a forever love, and a husband and a family and to be a soccer mom – but I was ready to accept that maybe all I will ever experience when it comes to genuine love is just that; a desire and nothing more. But boy, was I wrong!
I am grateful for the 1% of my heart not wanting to give up on love. There’s a Maya Angelou quote about trusting love one more time, and always one more time. Words cannot begin to express just how much I am glad I took these words to heart earlier this year. Because the moment I opened myself to trusting love again, it found me in the most perfect form in the most incredible human being I have ever met.
Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.
Maya angelou
Of course, love comes with challenging you to grow and evolve and unlearn so many things while relearning new things that will help the uniqueness of a relationship. I’ve come to learn how wrong the movies are about parts of love, that unconditional love is possible, that you really do need to let go and love wholeheartedly and without reservation.
This isn’t always easy, but it is so worth it, and I hope that you will experience a love as beautiful, fulfilling, wholesome, and downright eloquently written by God himself. You truly deserve to experience it.
From Junior to Manager
At the start of this year, I had been a Junior Content Marketer at a global media intelligence. Now, I cannot believe (but am also so incredibly proud to say) that I managed to get a new job as a Digital Marketing and Communications Manager at a fintech company. The career (and financial) glow up is REAL!
It’s been a long road towards getting to this point in my career. I’ve thought about where I want to be, how to get there and who I want to surround myself with on my way to what I want. This part of my life revealed how important it is to have the right people in my corner, people who could help me think logically because, as an emotional individual, I’m prone to making decisions that don’t always involve my mind.
I also learnt the important art of patience, and working in unison with the Universe to get into a particular frequency that matches the outcome I wanted (which was to get a new job). Call it ‘manifestation’ or ‘prayer’ but I had faith that my time would come when I would be called to do something bigger than the job I found myself doing before 1 October 2021.
As cool as Digital Marketing and Communications Manager sounds incredible, I really am more proud of how I decided to just go for this role. I mean, I was a junior and here I was, daring to step it up about 50 notches. And it paid off in the end.
Now, one month into my new job and I feel so at peace and confident that I can do this. That I am doing well and that I have everything I need to succeed in this new role. I can’t wait to see just how far this role will take me, and the growth I’m bound to experience.
Dealing with Imposter Syndrome in my Creativity
It has been a rollercoaster year when it comes to my creative work. From working with Orms and Canon South Africa, to getting nominated for a Womandla Arts in STEM Award, I am so grateful for the creative endeavours I have pursued, and the sweet rewards that have come my way as a product of my gratitude.
But if I am being honest, this year has also been one of the toughest when it comes to dealing with Imposter Syndrome. Sometimes, more times than I admit really, I feel like I’m not doing enough or not nearly as ahead as I would like to be.
Throughout this year, I’ve wondered just how impactful my work is, if I feel like I am living out my personal values of inspiring, motivating and educating. Sigh… I’ve been going through a fair bit this year, cried at how unimportant I feel in the creative space, and thought out quitting it all and just disappearing into my own little world.
Of course, I’ve worked through most of these feelings and I am slowly getting my confidence back, but it takes constant work. I really does because Imposter Syndrome just isn’t this switch that I can turn off.
I recently got my second tattoo, the words ‘I AM WORTHY’ are now forever marked on my inner arm. I’m so glad I have this because it serves as a reminder that indeed, I am worthy of everything I want in life, especially when it comes to my creative work.
I’d been feeling so hopeless and useless and uninspired; this tattoo has been a reminder that it is okay to go through these types of emotions. I’m human after all, but these feelings don’t take away from the fact that I have done some incredible work in the creative industry, that I’ve gone above and beyond to accomplish goals I never thought I could (a Glamour Magazine feature!!). It’s all okay to feel these lows but they don’t take away from the very high fact that I am worthy.
So, hello November
So as October is behind me and I step into November, I am nothing but hopeful and optimistic that I will finish this year strong (and that the definition of ‘strong’ will be tailored just for me). I welcome this new month with a renewed sense of not losing sight of doing the things I love.
It’s been one long, slow, and whiplashing year, but I choose to focus on the beautiful, the positive, and I dwell in knowing that November (and even December) will be magical.
Khalipha Ntloko 
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